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Should be so lucky - Some Kind Of Bliss
February 6th, 2015
06:39 am


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Should be so lucky

Can't sleep again and I just had the strangest bittersweet thought and I had to write it down. There are people my age who have never known true love. Never been in love. Never been in a real relationship before. Maybe they've known the sexual lusty side but not the true side of love. My track record is hardly spotless and heaven knows I've gone thru my share of heartache. But how truly lucky that I have also known really great love. Been in love. True love. Maybe not for forever but for the times it lasted, it was real, genuine love. They weren't always the best of times and some came with really hard lessons to be learned. But the good times, the good love, was amazingly good. And how lucky am I to have experienced it?! I think I finally understand the "better to have loved and loss" cliché. I am so grateful for that, to have known that kind of love, even once. I was laying here feeling so depressed, thinking about him, hoping wishing praying and missing him. And it dawned one me, as down as I am feeling, someone somewhere out there would give anything to have what I have, to have had what I've had, and to even have such a great someone of such potential right now. I've been so focused on wanting more. And I still do. I want the forever. I want the heat. I do want it all with him still. But damn, I was forgetting to realize just how lucky I am to even have someone I like so much, someone I can dream about and fantasize over and someone who has actually made me hopeful for the possible future. And that is a gift in and of itself. My heart was so lost in yearning that it forgot just how full of love it already is. Not anymore. No, I am very much grateful for the love I have had, the feelings I do have, and the future that may be. In that respect I am very lucky indeed. ♡

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